I just . . . I guess I need more, somehow? Well, I won't go into it.

But that part in the middle? Yes, I'm melancholy because the country is so big and you know, the wrong side, but also because I want what I can't have. Especially since it sometimes feel like maybe it's there? I know, I KNOW it's not. But . . . Yeah. I'm going to shut up now.

Eta: Check your mailbox.