For diamonds do appear to be; Just like broken glass to me

[sproutgirl]

I was fine earlier. I was good. I had Cobra Starship and The Academy Is . . . goodness. I got to hear Ryan's paparazzi song and Toby's prostitution song. And of course, I got to see the embodiment of Terry up close and personal. I got to hear two new songs from TAI. I got to hold Beckett's hand for a few seconds.

And suddenly I'm not so good anymore.

Ok, maybe not so suddenly. I don't really know.

I wish there was something I could do. But I can't. Not even listen. All I can do is blather on about model trains and purple crayons and jagulars. Maybe that's all that's needed from me. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But I will continue to do it, because it's all I can do, and I want to help. And because I hope it does help.

And seriously, that's not even why I've suddenly crashed. Not totally. Most of it's just me being moody. Again. And there's an emotional story I'm reading and I'm finding a lot of new, slightly depressing, meanings to songs I already knew.

So. Who wants to slap me now? Go on. It might just do me some good.

Comments

[the-malediction.livejournal.com]

#$#$URH$%&#$ Beckett.

You're not allowed to crash.

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

Hot hot hot Beckett.

I'm sorry. I'm sure I'll be better when I stop reading this thing and go to bed. I hope.

I could do with some jagulars myself, you know. Or perhaps green paintballs.

[salemdipity.livejournal.com]

I don't want to slap you, actually. I just want to hug you. If it helps, I have <lj user="cda_cdj") open in another window (what does that stand for, anyway?) and once I'm done catching up on my flist, I'm going to read.

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

(My initials and Character Development Journal)

I'm STILL reading this fic that is, like, 1000 pages long, so I will log onto YM now, in case you want to say "Hi." Or possibly "I liked the part where ______." Or even "Dude, quit with Ryan and get back to Ben."

[salemdipity.livejournal.com]

I haven't forgotten about all your little ficlets - I know I'm woefully behind. I'm sorry; the last couple of days have been tough and I need to lick my wounds for a bit. But I'll make my way through them, promise :D

[cda-cdj.livejournal.com]

No worries. I know it's not been a good few days for you. Anyway, you are never obligated to read anything, you know.

[salemdipity.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know. If I didn't want to read them, I wouldn't. But I want to, so there.

[cda-cdj.livejournal.com]

Do I sense a tongue sticking out there? Lol

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

*smacks you softly* Hey. You're allowed to be emo! Feeling emotions is a good thing!

*snuggles you*

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I should not be allowed to fret and stress over something that has nothing to do with me, especially when I don't know what it is.

*snuggles back*

(And the emo story was your fault. It was on your rec list. I blame you.)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, what have I done to you? What story was it?

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

*is shamed* Good Boys

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh, ow. Jeezum, mind the angst tag!

I'm tempted to add "isn't it beautiful?" but, uh...yeah. LOL.

I never meant to suck you in! It was an accident!

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

Lol. I didn't. I also didn't realise how long it is. But that part where he's at the piano after telling him to go? Bwaaahhh!

And you haven't sucked me in. Swear. I really was desperate for something to do last night that wasn't my own writing. I find I have a very useful switch in my head that allows me to think of them as totally separate, totally fictional people.

Plus I was looking for good gay porn. I figured I'd give your list a shot. :)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

It's true, I rec good gay porn. *nods solemnly*

Well...if you're sure...

I mean, it's not like I haven't gleefully converted people to bandom. But--you're different. If you see what I mean.

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

I wrote my own a few days ago (gay porn that is) and have been craving good stuff ever since.

It's fine, really. I'm not going anywhere else looking for it or anything. But thank you for recognising the specialness of me my situation. :)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

You are special, you're the only one, you're the only one like YOU!

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

[chickadilly.livejournal.com]

*snuggles you*

I agree with Lu - you're allowed to be emo!

[sproutgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, and I know I'm sort of one of the lesser emos around here, but it's always for no reason, or the same stupid reason, and I just . . . shouldn't.

Anyway. Hi!